Yes, it's May now. Fuck you. Despite my optimism in the last update, the rough patch continued.
We had to say goodbye to our cat, Bartok. I've never been a cat person, but he wormed his way into my heart over the past few years. He was a beautiful little asshole, and it hurt a lot to see him in so much pain at the end. Still, we had a few happy days with him before we had to put him down, and he went down peacefully and painlessly. I'll miss you, buddy.
As all this was happening: we had a brief stint with a new roommate that didn't work out, decided that we should get our own place. and then had to navigate the hellish experience of the Brooklyn rental market. Between two weeks of looking for a place, pulling together every financial document I've ever received, paying for movers and deposit, and then finally moving, it's been a financially and emotionally draining month. We're in a new place now and things are, maybe, looking up. But I'm burned out as all hell. I picked up some extra freelance work to defray the costs, on top of my usual workload and the move, and had to follow through a lot of pre-existing commitments I'd made before knowing I'd be dealing with all this bullshit on top of it. I'm ready for a few weeks of calm, if we can ever finish unpacking.
That said, I still managed to accomplish a few cool things. At the beginning of April, I ran Eyebeam's first livestreams in Open Eyebeam, which I thought went quite well. At the end of the month I learned TouchDesigner in a week for my first A/V performance in years at Hex House - I ran visuals and sent vocal samples to my friend Matt, who improvised live musical loops and distorted the vocals. Ten minutes after that, I drove a car dressed like a cake dressed like a clown in a performance celebrating Hex's first birthday. And all of this was the night before our move!
I read The Dispossessed this past weekend for my anarchist book club, and came away, as I usually do, feeling inspired. I do believe a better world is possible, that I can keep striving towards a way of being in the world that feels right and just. The work continues, no matter what the world throws your way: all we can do is keep moving forward (although I think I'm okay moving slowly for the time being).
2023 Goal Progress
Not much progress this month, due to the aforementioned
Completed/good progress: GREEN
In progress: YELLOW
Not started: RED
I am working on figuring out the best markdown template for stuff like this, so bear with me.
|Further reduce big tech dependencies - get rid of Gmail/gDrive, iPhone, etc.||No progress this month.|
|Give at least one talk||No progress this month.|
|Complete at least 2 big personal projects||No progress this month.|
|Do at least one big collaborative project.||No progress this month.|
|Apply to 10 grants/fellowships/etc.||Got up to 4, the 4th resulting in a summary rejection. This should keep me on pace for 10 by the end of the year.|
|Show work in a public space, digital or physical||Doesn't quite feel like it counts, since it's in a studio I'm a member of, but I did perform in public?|
|KEEP MOVING FORWARD||Feel like it's happening!|
|(Stretch) find and kill god.||One of these days I'm gonna get him.|
|Focus on building community on & offline.||I think all the performance work with Hex House counts!|
|Find a studio/art collective to work with in person.||Finished in March!|
That's it for now. Here's hoping for some better months ahead.